Welcome to 'under the influence of alcohol.' I doubt you stumbled here by random, so I will therefore assume you do believe know me, meaning there is no need for an introduction really is there? Yay no! This homepage was created because I'm bored and have no life. Long story short I guess. And it doesn't really have a purpose. It's just another thing to do when I'm bored. And I'm bored a hell of a lot. Also, so I can blackmail my friends by posting pictures of them on the internet. So overall, it's quite fun really.

The voices tell me that if you don't sign the guestbook, you will get shot. So umm, just to let you know..

My toast is called Sarah, bet your toast doesn't have a name

Definition of a slow death: Eating celery in a hot sweaty elevator, playing old 40's music.

Definition of a good time: Spending countless hours wondering around a zoo with a half monkey half devil child.

Definition of a good friendship: When you realise that you've spent 7 hours locked in a room with your worst enemy talking about ice cream.

Definition of a bad meal: When 3 hours later it hits you that you've eaten a newspaper because you were so hungry.

Definition of a dangerous animal: An animal that can kill you in 892 different ways, lives in a cold climate, eats fish and is black and white. Can you guess?

Would you like some magic beans?

pink sheeps are the new hip hops of our generation 1 minute silence in memory of lastnightiwasattackedbymuffins.20.com...